As one coming from a divorce family, I can testify just how much it hurts and yet 47% of black non-Hispanic women, 34% of Hispanic women, 32% of white non-Hispanic women, and 20% Asian women divorce. Around the 1970's divorce started to trend due to No-Fault Divorce. Before this, one of either party had to participate in one of the three A's: adultery, abuse, or alcoholism. However, due to the No-Fault-Divorce either party at any time can choose to end the marriage for any reason.
There are 6 types of divorces: emotional, economic, co-parental, community, psychic, and legal. Whatever the type though, no one ever seems to "win" from getting a divorce and if there are children involved, the child will almost always loose. When my parents got divorced, I was a senior in high school. Looking back it was probably one of the hardest times in my life. However I can't help but think that my siblings had it worst off. I was around 17, basically already out of the house but my younger siblings were going to be the ones who would have to deal with it especially since they were all at very critical ages in their development.
When you try to separate a family and then blend families together there are some adjustments that have to happen. There's always going to be emotional baggage, those involve will need to accept pass losses and allow a "mourning time," and expectations will need to be adjusted. When trying to blend a family there will need to be a lot of patience. It won't be easy to unite parenting styles, family traditions, and to make the children respect or trust the new parent over night. In fact, most advise that all the heavy discipline for the first little while be done by the birth parent, while the new parent should focus on creating a good relationship with the child and gaining their trust.
For more information visit lds.org to read a talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on divorce.
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