3 Things to Consider Before Jumping on that Marriage Bandwagon

You're in love, and you think it's time to make that step.  Everyone you know seems to be doing it, so why not.  It's time to get married.  But before you embark on one of the most important decisions in your life, here are 3 things to consider before you jump on that marriage bandwagon.  

1. To cohabit or to not?
Many couples now a days are making the decision to live together, or cohabit, before marriage.  You know, to test the waters out before making that big decision, to see if you're really compatible.  However, when comparing marriage and cohabitation, married couples report more sex and more satisfying sex, they have a better quality relationship, and are more stable, whereas rates of violence are higher among cohabiting couples and they tend to have greater health issues.  It is also easier for those to get married right off the back to learn how to combine their ways of living.  Overall, statistically speaking, cohabitation isn't the safe way to go.

2. Marriage is more than a wedding. 
Planning to get married consists of a lot more than just planning a wedding.  Now is the time to have those really important conversations.  What are your expectations of this relationship?  Who's going to do what around the house?  Are you both going to work? Will you use contraception? If you decide to have children what are the expectations on raising them?  How do you expect to discipline them?  Who's going to manage the finances?  What are your spending habits?  What will be the relationship with the in-laws?  How will you spend major holidays?  What are your sexual expectations?  Where will you live?  What rituals do you hope to incorporate in the home?  This list may seem a bit much, however, whether you realize it or not, you each have an idea of what you want for each of these items, and if you and your partner make those decisions now it'll save from a whole lot of problems later down the road.  

3. The Importance of a wedding 
According to family systems theory, this is a crucial time where you and your future spouse will really being to solidify those boundaries as husband and wife.  Many times you see the bride-to-be and her mother, or her really close friends, get into the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding.  However, this is the time that both husband and wife have the opportunity to begin making big decisions together and really listening and hearing each other's wants and needs.  Instead of the bride-to-be bonding even more with her mother or said second party and portraying that dependency on them, it is the time that the couple begin to show that dependency for one another.  At the reception, it is the vital time to show everyone that you two are now now one and to put in those healthy boundaries between the in-laws and all those who are close to you.  If done correctly, you and your spouse will begin on the right foot, of creating a healthy relationship that will last.