Lets Talk About SEX

Sex sells.  One could say that this what you call common knowledge.  But even though it is highlighted and fantasized in the media how much does one really know about sex?

Sex does not MAKE a relationship.  It can however bring together two individuals in ways that nothing else can.  Some predictors of the success within a marriage are high levels of commitment, being able to acknowledge ones own faults, and marital intimacy.  If one is committed to the other person one will most likely not just walk away.  If you are able to acknowledge your own faults then you will not be likely to cast blame on the other person and and will be more open to helping with whatever the problem may be, because you can see that you are partly to blame.  And depending on how your intimacy is within the relationship, it can determine how bonded or connected you feel with that person.

Sexual intimacy has great potential to really bring two people together while creating a bond that will be difficult to break.  However, there are a few things that you should first realize in order to understand how that can really be possible.  There are four stages in the sexual response: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

However both men and women react differently.  Recognizing that there are differences between men and women in this aspect will greatly affect the intimacy between a physical relationship.  For example women generally need to feel close and safe before they have sex while men feel close after having sex.  On top of that it can usually take the women much longer than the man to reach to stage of orgasm.  Knowing this can greatly help with the satisfaction of both parties.  

There is a difference between having sex and making love.  There's a difference between making love WITH someone than making love TO someone.  Let us imagine a back massage.  Back massages are always nice but how much better are they to the giver and receiver when the one receiving the massage is guiding and directing the giver?  The receiver is able to gain that satisfaction while the giver feels good knowing that they have helped the receiver.  The same is with making love.  There should be communication between both parties.  This is the one opportunity that you have to really love and think of your partner first.  It allows you two to become one and united as husband and wife.

Making love really is a beautiful and sacred act.  Instead of focusing greatly on the act itself, which can lead to objectifying people, focus instead on the why.  That's when it can become something more than what animals do to something that two people who deeply love each other do to express that.