Saturday, June 25, 2016

Don't get Furious, Get Curious

There are many times that communication just doesn’t go as planned, where your conversation becomes more of a conflict.  Why doesn’t the person you’re talking to get it and why are they responding like that?  There are many reasons why sometimes communication just isn’t as easy as it ought to be.  To understand why communicating with others can at times be so difficult you must first understand the process. 

You first start with a thought or feeling.  You then encode that message, or try to figure out what you want to convey to the other person and so you then choose a medium to express you were thinking or feeling.  Believe or not most communication is only 14% verbal but 51% nonverbal and 35% in your tone.  By recognizing that, you can begin to see why decoding what other people are trying to tell you, can at times be so confusing.  It then repeats in cycle.  That person decodes what you have said, and so they will react and have a certain thought or feeling and the cycle starts all over again.  So imagine how hard this whole process can be when someone is being sarcastic or not expressing themselves fully.  Yeah, not the easiest thing. 


Consider instead of coming to a compromise when there’s a disagreement between you and another person, coming to a consensus.  A compromise is where the person seeks their own will or preference but when you come to a consensus you two come together and make one decision for the benefit of both of you as one.  This can help in all circumstances, especially in a family.  To read more about how you can counsel in the family and come to a consensus where the whole family will be OK with what’s going on read "Family Councils" by Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
   

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